Does an inner voice rise up inside and whisper thoughts such as: you aren’t doing enough. You should already be there, or you aren’t moving fast enough?

This is F.O.N.D.E. or the Fear of Not Doing Enough.

F.O.N.D.E. can paralyze you from taking action or push you to the brink of exhaustion. 

In this episode I share where that voice might come from and share practical tips to letting it go and overcoming it so you can have whatever results you desire…on your terms.

This concept came up on a recent group call I had in my coaching group. We were discussing the thoughts that come to us and figured out that F.O.N.D.E. is disguised by thoughts of:girl hiding in sweater

I should be there already

I am not getting there fast enough

I’ll never get there

I have to work my butt off to have what I want

Ultimately, there is a fine line between wanting more and reaching for your FULL potential AND being stuck in a never-ending rat race of chasing the next thing because you aren’t currently content.

I know it well.

But where does it come from?

  1. Comparison
  2. The need for external validation
  3. Reliance on external sources instead of internal sources
  4. The desire for perfectionism

How F.O.N.D.E. actually works AGAINST you:

Feelings only come from thoughts.  We have to identify the thoughts to let go of the fear.

This is a process, one that might not happen overnight, but with practice, you will be able to identify your thoughts so you can let go of the fear and focus on how you really want to feel.

Here are my practical tips to let it go and overcome F.O.N.D.E.:

  1. Define ENOUGH. It’s so subjective. If you don’t know what yours is then you are comparing your version of enough to someone else’s.
  2. Take ONLY HLA
  3. Become aware of your thoughts—ask if they are true?
  4. Connect with how you actually feel
  5. Don’t ignore your GUT 
  6. Take time to look how far you’ve really come /// learn to celebrate.
  7. Spend time each day in gratitude

Be sure to check out this week’s episode for more useful tips on letting go so you can have whatever results you desire….on your own terms.