2020 has been quite a year so far, am I right? It’s the end of July as this episode goes live and the past 4 months have definitely been interesting. I don’t think this year has shaped up to look anything like we had hoped and dreamed way back in January as we were setting our goals for the year.
But here’s what I know: there is no better time than now to focus on your health and make your well-being a priority.
In today’s episode, you’re going to hear from one of my clients who, at the age of 57, decided it was time to make a commitment to herself. She found her “why” and she made a commitment to be consistent.
She’s sharing today the main reason she was finally able to find consistency and how boundary-setting played a huge role in her success.
Have you been a podcast listener for a while and you wish you had more content from me to consume? Well, no worries! I’ve got your back!
In August and September, I am going to be releasing a ton of new, free content in my Facebook podcast community, so be sure you are part of that group.
The other exciting news is that episode #100 of the podcast is getting closer and I will be doing an epic giveaway associated with that episode. So, you’re going to want to stay tuned and not miss a single episode!
Making Time for You
I love Sheila’s story because how we met is so different than how I typically meet my clients.
I actually met Sheila’s husband before I met her and he is the one who encouraged her to contact me. They had been caring for a loved one and that commitment had ended and Sheila’s husband suggested to her that she “focus on herself and start taking care of herself.”
As a mother of 4 and grandmother, Sheila was very accustomed to giving. And giving and giving.
Sheila wasn’t exactly sure what all she as getting into by choosing to coach with me but what she knew was that she couldn’t stay in the same place she was in any longer.
Sheila was coming off a long, hard season of walking one of their children through the fire. And at the same time, she was working 3 part-time jobs, her husband was working multiple long shifts on his job, and they were passing each other like ships in the night.
She was struggling “just to put my pants on every day,” and she knew she had to make some changes.
She needed to come off a year of negativity and begin to focus on some positivity.
At age 57, Shelia felt like she was drowning in negativity. She was desperate to find something she could stick to for the long haul.
A Lifetime of Inconsistency
When Sheila came to me, one thing she knew for sure: she had never stuck to anything in her entire life. Or at least that’s how it felt to her.
And one of the first shifts she had after just a few weeks of working with me was realizing that she was being consistent.
Prior to our working together, Sheila would start a new habit or lifestyle, go hard at it for 6-7 weeks, and then crash and burn. She repeated this process over and over throughout her adult life.
“I went into this wanting to lose 15 lbs. And it became nothing about that. It became, and still is, about discovering who I really am.”
One thing I find fascinating about Sheila is her ability to see the truth through the BS.
She was a slow starter in my program and she felt as though she wasn’t making good progress. She still struggled with overwhelm and wondered often if she could really change her life and break those old habits.
And how does she feel about that now?
She says, “I’m not perfect.” She admits to still having that voice inside her head that questions her sometimes with, “Are you sure you can do this? What makes you think you won’t quit like you always do?”
And she simply answers that voice out loud with a firm, “This isn’t the truth.”
Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns
Sheila jokes that if there was one thing she was consistent in, in her life, it was negative thinking.
One of the things I teach my clients is the process of thought remodeling and this has been a key for Sheila in the work she’s been doing. She discovered how that negative self-talk led her down into some really dark places.
In the thought remodeling process, you take your negative thoughts or circumstances, you write them down, and you work through them.
Sheila shared with me that she has notebooks filled with pages of thoughts she has worked through.
Being Consistent, Even When the World Changes
After a lifetime of focusing on others, Sheila had to figure out ways to spend time focusing on herself and practicing self-care.
She decided to take Wednesdays to be “her day.” With a brand new grandbaby, she spent Wednesdays visiting the little one, doing projects that she enjoyed, and just overall spending the day on things she wanted to do, not stuff she had to do.
She and her husband had long claimed Friday as their date night, but with him retired now, they are together every day. Sheila says they’re busier than ever, completing projects, etc.
Since the pandemic started, it would be easy to chuck all that out the window but Sheila is more determined than ever to remain consistent.
She might not be able to visit her grandbaby every week but she can still take Wednesdays to do things she enjoys.
And she and her husband can’t really go anywhere on a date, but they can set the projects aside for a day and just do things together that they both enjoy.
Sheila has found a huge sense of satisfaction in maintaining this level of consistency even when the whole world is inconsistent.
Advice for Younger Women and Moms
When I asked Sheila if she had any advice for the 30-year old women who were listening to this episode, she certainly did!
First of all, she said, slow down. If you spend every minute driving those kids around or at work, and you never take a break, you’ve got to slow the ship. She says she “would have backed up all the trains that were moving at full speed,” and taken a look at everything she was doing and why.
Secondly, figure out what self-care looks like. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? And if you fall apart, who will take care of those you love? Find things that light you up and dedicate time to them. *Hire the damn sitter; the kids will be fine.
Next, get to know your family. Sheila has 4 kids and she wished she had spent more time getting to know them on an individual basis. So, get yourself healthy and then give your kids a mom who can have fun because she is doing the things that give her life.
And finally, be yourself. Sheila spent years trying to blend in and mold herself to the expectations of those around her. She wasn’t being her authentic self.
And now? She shared with me in the episode how that very morning, she had to answer a prompt in her journal on what she liked about herself. And she had an answer because she is living her reality. She is her true self.
You Are Enough
Most women come to me for weight loss and we always, and I mean always, end up working on so much more than weight.
For Sheila, she had wanted to lose weight her whole life, mostly because she felt like she should. The biggest aha moment she has had during our time together is that she is actually enough just the way she is.
The number on the scale doesn’t define her worth. She feels so good inside now and that’s where her self-worth comes from; from what she’s doing for herself and all the ways she’s growing.
“I’d rather be healthier on the inside than thinner on the outside.”
This is not to say we can’t have weight goals or health goals; it’s just focusing on loving yourself no matter what size you are. It’s doing the internal work to find freedom and joy.
If you’re ready to change your life, what’s holding you back? Maybe you’re like Sheila and you’ve never been consistent with anything, and so you’re afraid to invest in yourself.
What if this time was different? What if you actually could be consistent and you could find the joy and freedom you long for?
If you need somebody to come alongside and help you reach your goals, reach out. I would love to be the one to help you get on the right path.
Not sure you want to work with me? Sheila says of our relationship, “Amanda, you dared to boldly go where no one had gone before!”
Are you ready to let me in?
There may be many layers of this onion that you have to peel back before you get to all the root causes. If you don’t know where to start, I am here to help.
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