If you’re anything like me, your Instagram is filled with inspirational memes and quotes. So, why don’t we as women feel like we’re making real change in our lives? In today’s episode, my guest, Melanie Klein, and I talk about how doing the work deeply is the only way to real and lasting change.
Before I dive into my discussion with Melanie though, I want to let you know that when this episode airs, coaching is open.
If you’ve ever wanted someone to walk alongside you in your journey, to help you achieve the goals you long to reach, then coaching might be right for you. And if you sign up now, I am offering some high-value bonuses, including an additional month for free!
I would love to be the one who helps you figure out what it is you want and how to get there, so follow the link and let’s hop on a call to see if we’d be a good fit.
If you aren’t sure if coaching is what you need yet, I also have a free workshop you can attend to get more clarity on 3 Reasons You Aren’t Seeing Results and How to Get It Turned Around.
This workshop will only be held once, so sign up today if it sounds like something you would benefit from. I look forward to seeing you in there!
Now, onto my conversation with Melanie…
Melanie C. Klein, M.A., is a sought after empowerment coach and respected thought leader in the areas of authentic empowerment, visibility, and body confidence.
She is also a successful writer, speaker, and Professor of Sociology and Women’s Studies. With two decades of professional and personal work, Melanie integrates her background in mindfulness and embodied wisdom with her academic expertise and advocacy work. In this way, she offers a holistic and unique pathway to personal freedom and prosperity, one that is customized and designed for each individual.
Recognize the Fire Inside You
If you’re a mom, you are well versed in serving others. In fact, it’s what you do all day every day.
Melanie was familiar with that life. It was an invitation to a yoga class from her sister that ended up changing her life.
The more she attended, the more she began to feel a fire inside her rise up, a fire that she couldn’t ignore. And she began to realize that she had a purpose much bigger than she had ever thought about or understood.
What is the thing in your life that keeps pulling you back? I want you to stop and take in the fact that there is something bigger at work in that thing. There is validity in what you feel drawn to.
The Mind-Body Connection
For centuries, society has understood that we are more than our physical bodies.
But what we haven’t come to grips with is how the mind-body connection affects everything we do, and how we view others based on what society tells us.
For most of history, men have been seen as the ones who are smarter, stronger, and more capable in the areas of scholarship, physical accomplishments, and anything requiring study or strength.
Whereas women are seen as the ones who nurture others and take care of them. Women are seen as the weaker sex, and generally speaking, people don’t associate women with higher accomplishments, such as professional success or world-changing efforts.
What Melanie began to realize as she worked through all of these thoughts is that yes, women can nurture others. Yes, we are great at building relationships.
But those things don’t preclude us as women also using our minds to do amazing things or to compete in a world that is based on patriarchy.
Melanie came to the point where she could see that, yes, she could be a deep thinker, she could do deep work, she could develop critical consciousness. And yet she didn’t have to separate those things from her inner wisdom or her bodily knowing.
“I can embody my truth and I can think critically, simultaneously.”
What Do You Bring to The Table
The idea of women having power has been given a negative slant in our patriarchal world, but understand that the kind of power we are talking about in this podcast benefits everyone.
The more we do the deep work necessary to live in our authentic power, the more we raise the collective frequency. This isn’t just about us or our families; this is about creating massive change for all of humanity.
It is crucial to integrate your entire self in order to show up as more than you ever could have imagined. It’s going back to that girl you were as a child, curious and unafraid to dream big, and seeing that you have the power inside yourself to make all of those dreams come true.
The fact that gets missed so often though, is that this not only benefits you. This benefits the whole planet.
It opens people’s eyes to what women are capable of achieving and it opens our own eyes to what we are capable of.
The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media
Remember back at the beginning of this episode I mentioned that my Instagram feed is filled with inspirational quotes and memes? I wanted to dive into that a bit more with Melanie and talk about why these kinds of things don’t create real change in us.
First, let’s acknowledge how amazing it is to have the opportunity to share things with others that touch our hearts or make us want to do better. We are privileged to have something like social media that allows us to keep in touch with those far away from us and to use it to express ourselves.
The problem with social media is that too many people feel that reading the memes or using a hashtag actually constitutes the work.
It’s a great first step to make sure you’re only following people who inspire you or who share positive content. However, that doesn’t change you.
Change only happens when you begin to practice the deep work necessary for change, not when you only fill your head with snappy slogans or images.
How to Do the Deep Work
If reading memes and feeling inspired aren’t the path to real and lasting change in the world, what is?
How can you and I step into our authentic selves and begin to use the power within us to make changes in ourselves, our homes, our communities, and the world?
The first thing you can do is take a look at those memes that inspire you and ask, “Okay, this inspires me. Now, what can I do to follow up with this? How am I currently living? Am I at all in alignment with this in my current life?”
If it’s an idea that inspires you, ask yourself what it would look like to begin living more closely aligned with this particular philosophy. What changes could you make today to more fully live out the idea?
Ideal Culture vs. Real Culture
What some of us fail to recognize is that what we see and what inspires us is our ideal culture, whereas what we live every day is our real culture.
So, we aspire to freedom, equity, and equality. Doesn’t that sound like the society you want to live in and be a part of?
The problem is, that isn’t reality.
The reason it isn’t the reality is that there is a juncture between what we think, what we believe, and what we do.
I know you can identify with this; you say one thing while doing another. What we say we believe isn’t necessarily how we live our lives.
Where Is Your Disconnect?
To do the deep work, ask yourself where that disconnect is for you.
Where is the disconnect between what you say you believe and what you do? Where is the disconnect between what inspires you and how you’re taking action on that thing?
If you can get curious about that, get honest with yourself about the answers, and not judge yourself for it, you can begin to make progress.
Take your ideal and then compare it to:
- How you speak to your spouse
- How you treat your children
- How you behave at work
- Where you shop
- How you vote
- What you consume
- How you treat your body
You can quickly see that there is an infinite number of areas where we can act to create true change in our lives.
These things may seem small. I mean, how does the way you speak to your husband change the world?
Melanie says that, cumulatively and consistently, our practices, however small, create massive shifts that impact more than our little world.
So, are you ready to get curious? Are you ready to be honest with yourself? Are you ready to do the deep work required to find the power within you?
Take a look at your actions and your beliefs and find the disconnects. Figure out a way to make small changes to one of those practices. And watch your self-confidence and inner power rise up within you.
There may be many layers of this onion that you have to peel back before you get to all the root causes. If you don’t know where to start, I am here to help.
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